It may be Chico Time at the top of the singles chart, but in the ruthless democracy that is the X-Factor tour, Chico time has been compressed to exactly six minutes. That's the Moroccan former goatherd's allocated slot at this show, which brings together eight finalists from the reality programme for a last hurrah before they return to the pub circuit. Chico's goatherd-to-riches story makes him one of the more interesting cast members, but, like everyone except winner Shayne Ward, he's confined to a brief few minutes of wild-eyed self-promotion. He's forced to open the show, too - a lowly task that should have been left to one of the acts that hasn't spent the past fortnight at number one.

But that's the X-Factor tour for you - everyone is equal, regardless of talent (thunderous R&B singer Brenda Edwards undoubtedly has some) or lack thereof (see Chico, the shrill, tacky Conway Sisters and Journey South, a Robson and Jerome of the Noughties). It replicates the format of the TV series, with each candidate thrust onstage to be publicly scrutinised as they sing two cover versions apiece. These eight acts beat 75,000 other contestants, as selected by judges Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh (who, sadly, couldn't be with us tonight, though we get taped excerpts).

However the audience aren't screaming because Maria Lawson has perfect pitch, but because they've seen her on the telly. Naturally, no artist who genuinely possesses the "X-Factor" would ever get involved with a show like this. These eight acts are here by dint of being raging extroverts who happen to be able to sing. None of them - certainly not the shambling, uncharismatic Ward - has the unquantifiable something that separates the Wards from the (Robbie) Williamses. The hollowness of the whole enterprise is brought home when we're shown a snippet of last year's winner, Steve Brookstein.

He has since returned to singing in pubs.