PICK OF THE WEEK

Violens
Violent Sensation Descends (Static Recital)

I love weird things from the 60s and early 70s, and so I really like this. It sounds like a grunge Mamas & The Papas with a horror film soundtrack Farfisa organ plonked on top. The singer looks and sounds a bit like a dodgy student version of Big Star's Alex Chilton, but then I love Chilton so much that even a dodgy student version of him is pretty good.

Shaheen
Last Train Home/Hip Teens (Don't Wear Blue Jeans) (Island)

Cute Alert!!!! This fruity little tyke is easily the best freakshow to come out of all the Simon Cowell franchises. His voice and delivery are actually pretty good when you compare it to the tsunami of diarrhoea that cascades out of the TV and on to the nation's living room floors every weekend. Does it make me creepy if I want to pinch his cheeks really hard?

Duffy
Well Well Well (A&M/Universal)

Since leaving behind the management genius of Rough Trade's Jeannette Lee, Duffy has taken a wrong turn into Embarrassing Avenue. Taking its cue from the same aesthetic gene pool as the advert she did for Diet Coke, her new style is more Stock Aitken & Waterman than Dusty Springfield. Close your eyes and it's Sonia attempting a forgotten Madonna single from the late-80s. But it's less La Isla Bonita and more Fat Spanish Waiter.

Is Tropical
South Pacific (Kitsuné)

Really hungover-looking art guys make a cute song that's like a Yazoo/Beach Boys crossover. It goes on a bit though; enough to make you feel as if Vince Clark and Brian Wilson couldn't quite make it to the studio to finish the song. But if you're 19 and this is the band you and your first proper boyfriend listen to all the time while chain-smoking weed on the futon, it'll sound pretty good.

Miles Kane
Inhaler (Columbia)

This painfully authentic 60s throwback makes me think of the soundtrack to a Danny Dyer film about a diamond heist. Picture it: a perfectly recreated East End boozer circa 1965. Dyer's feeling well naughty after pulling this tasty bird who's just told him she's engaged to the geezer who's tryna kill him! Cue this song! Cue drums! Guitar! The authenticity of the 60s set, however, is then ruined by the camera revealing that Dyer has forgotten to take off his Bluetooth headset.

The Script
Nothing (Phonogenic)

But Miles Kane is Lennon reincarnated compared to these clowns. Who decided to put together a band for the people who think Coldplay are too avant garde? Look at the video with the singer pretending to get drunk at a crap pretend-indie bar; gaze in awe at the baldy drummer's beard/sideburn arrangement. He looks like his mates assaulted him while he passed out in the front room, but he hasn't woken up yet, even though he's walking around and being a millionaire in the worst band ever.