On its third outing, this nostalgia-fest does exactly what it promises and conjures up the 1980s so perfectly that it is disturbing. Most of the outfits - on stage and off - are probably normally stored under armed guard. One particularly brave and maternal figure wears bondage gear and a T-shirt reading "Debbie, Steve Strange's biggest fan". Obviously, today's teenagers have no idea how to control their parents, who squeal along with Visage despite the fact that Strange sounds like a street trader with a cold.
The Here and Now organisers know their market, and opening acts are restricted to their big hits. After all, who in their right mind would want to hear more than 10 minutes of the Belle Stars? Using the same musicians to back all the acts (bar headliners the Human League) is another good idea, meaning that 1980s relics can shuffle on and off without damaging their shoulder pads. The other masterstroke is booking acts who have not played in years and so are fresh, in a retro way. Thus, bounding out of a birthday cake, Altered Images dreamboat Clare Grogan still looks and sounds like a giggly, excitable schoolgirl.
In this parallel universe, Dollar are more important than Bob Dylan, so securing the duo's first performance in 14 years is a coup. David Van Day was recently selling burgers, so he is only too glad to dress like a biker crashing into a soft furnishings department. After a ghastly start, former lovers Day and Thereza Bazar coo through Give Me Back My Heart (Him: "Do you still love me?" Her: "A little bit"), reminding everybody that they were the 1980s' Posh'n'Becks, with better voices.
Years after blowing their fortunes on preposterous cars, Jackson-type squeaking siblings Five Star are now reduced to three stars, but hordes sing along to forgotten funk oddities like System Addict. Similarly, a surprisingly rocking Kim Wilde gets thousands of Yorkshire oldies to shout that they are "Kids in America" and apparently mean it.
Ripples of Crimplene and excitement greet the Human League, whose celebrated "girls" have side-stepped the dress code's threat to their lingering credibility by barely wearing anything. Alongside the classics, Phil, Susanne and Joanne play newer songs and refer to Oasis, displaying an awareness of life after 1985 that the organisers should move quickly to stamp out.
· At Bournemouth BIC (01202 456456) on Monday, then touring.
