After originally being conceived to complement the seniors in their creator's quest for S Club world domination, S Club Juniors may now be ready to take the spotlight. For parents everywhere, this is like another dose of their worst - or most expensive - nightmare. At the first of two nights in Manchester, young children display signs of Junior mania - hyperactivity, glittery patches below the eyes - and ask for money to spend at the merchandising stall.
On stage, meanwhile, the tiny terrors "sing" with helium perfection and perform dance routines so demanding it's a wonder they have time for geography and joyrides. All good fun, although there is something faintly distressing about six micro-skirted girlies crowding together on a king-size bed, or a small black boy (Jay) wearing a huge afro wig to sing solo in an eerie parody of Michael Jackson. However, nothing is quite as distressing as the fact that at least two of their evil team-penned stompers sound fantastic: like classic Abba, only sped up.
Two years ago, S Club senior also did shows that were bundles of squeaky pop joy. But two years is an eternity in the manufactured pop world and the band, already technically down to S Club 6, are creaking. Glowers have replaced grins and there are rumours of a split. The most glaring metaphor of the band's decline arrives in the form of main singer Jo, hulking and immobile following a serious back problem. It is very sad, but her obvious unease makes a compelling human spectacle. She seems to have entered her Elvis in Vegas period, every sweat-drenched line delivered with dollops of poignant pathos.
The old hits sound forced, songs from the new movie absolutely ghastly and the upcoming (not bad) single's lines about living a lie and wanting to be free give the game away. S Club have had their time, made a wad and are clearly itching to get away to the beaches, EastEnders parts, osteopathic clinics and wherever else these bands go when they outgrow their punishing regimes. Unless, of course, there's a hole in the Butlins market for S Club Pensioners.
· At Birmingham NEC (0870 909413) until Thursday, then touring.
