It would be fun to provoke purists by pretending that the debut from the Transylvanian Pop Idol losers is an Abba-worthy exercise in cheap-but-meaningful pop. Sadly, it's such horrendous tat that even the most dedicated eurojunk connoisseur won't be able to stand it.

The oddly middle-aged-looking Cheekys, Monica and Gabriela Irimia, appear to be under the thumb of Mother Cheeky, who wrote every song except a cover of Boney M's Hooray, Hooray, It's a Holi-Holiday. Her exhortations to "have fun in disco clubs" and "dance me, babe, day and night" have a 1950s guilelessness that is amplified by the girls' accents, which render Cheeky "chicky" and bum "bomb".

Those two words figure in almost every song, from Touch My Bum to It's a Cheeky Holiday, all of them executed (and that's the right word) with horribly unflagging bubbliness.

The Cheeky Girls' obsession with their bottoms smacks of a need for reassurance, so they'll be glad to know that, in the sleeve photos, their bums look absolutely tiny.