In case anyone hadn't noticed, we're currently reliving the credible version of the 1980s. Morrissey is back in the album charts, Duran Duran are the biggest draw on the live circuit and reformed late-80s sneer rockers the Pixies have got the critics salivating. However, lest history be rewritten, Vancouver-formed poodle rockers Heart have returned to remind the world of that decade's terrifying excesses. Heart were once a band for whom the word "subtlety" may as well have been Greek - big hair, big riffs and a drum sound like a nuclear explosion. But while the core duo of sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson may have spent the past decade listening to drum'n'bass and nurturing sensible hairstyles, they have returned with a devotion to duty demonstrated by barnets recalling Bon Jovi and Crufts.

The third night of their Spinal Tap-ishly titled Jupiter's Darling world tour is full of 1980s horrors: T-shirts in the crowd proclaim allegiance to Whitesnake; a throbbing purple heart illuminates the stage. Nancy still resembles Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page mutated with Farrah Fawcett, while sunglassed-singer Ann has grown bigger in every way. She now has three vocal ranges: overwrought, really overwrought and overwrought built of wrought iron girders.

Avoiding all musical developments after 1987, they recognise the vogue for hard rock with a sound that resembles a Led Zep band of mums. While some fans loudly yearn for those soft-rock power-ballads, a few have come to recognise irony. When Ann Wilson announces that Lost Angel contains all the band's "hope for the world", one wag causes titters by shouting "Tell it like it is!" It's left to 1987 hit Alone to restore the proceedings with a blast of heat-drying bombast that could put a curly perm on to anyone's front lawn. Eighties retro-fetishists, hairstylists and gardeners should be very afraid.

· At the International Centre, Bournemouth, tonight. Box office: 0870 1113000. Then touring.