Pick of the week
The Twang
Wide Awake (B-Unique)
When the Twang won a gong at the NME awards the other week, the Long Blondes, there to present the Birmingham bunch with their prize, made their contempt for the group pretty clear. Twee indie fans may be peeved that their stranglehold on guitar pop has slipped, but the rest of us can enjoy a break from poncey posturing. Wide Awake is a strange beast - a softly spoken, chiming baggy anthem shot through with an unmistakable bolt of aggression. It may sound like it was recorded 15 years ago, but that's because it's already a classic.
Timbaland
Give It To Me (Blackground/Interscope)
He may look like a thumb that's been in the bath too long, but Timbaland is pretty much the Jesus of modern pop. Why then has he saved his most pedestrian track in years for himself when he could have farmed it off to any number of drooling wannabes? Look dude, Timberlake's an idiot and Furtado's a lizard - stop letting them leech off you. Of course, Give It To Me is a long way from bad, but frankly we still expect more. Still, Nelly F's verse is apparently a diss on Fergie - so that helps.
Fergie
Glamorous (A&M)
It's amazing to think that when Fergie - the singing latex pole on which the Black Eyed Peas vaulted the shark - first appeared, it was on the Black Eyed Peas post-9/11 protest song Where Is The Love? in 2003. Admittedly, Where Is the Love? was the worst protest song ever in the history of music, but still, her transition into a foulmouthed corruptor, turning tween girls into sex slaves faster than repressive Christian backgrounds, is astonishing. Glamorous is about as sexy as a colostomy bag full of VD and every copy should be fired from laser cannons at Fergie's ugly head until she knows what it's like for the rest of us having this crap shoved in our collective face.
Jamelia
No More (Parlophone)
Sampling The Stranglers' Golden Brown may seem like a great idea, but after Jamelia used Personal Jesus for her last single it seems a bit much. Does the girl only listen to Capital Gold? Are we to be treated to an R&B version of Come On Eileen or a slick pop Hotel California rejig? Using such a familiar sample is a double-edged sword. On the one hand it means it's instantly recognisable, but on the other it may just encourage a charge up the download charts for the Stranglers themselves. She's not the flawless popstar some claim, but Jamelia's still better than most.
The Bees
Left Foot Stepdown (Virgin)
They're a bunch of inventive hippies, the Bees. They're also rubbish. This mariachi dub pop is the kind of thing that Beirut would write if he spent less time crying in the dark and more time munching shrooms listening to Lemon Jelly and the Avalanches on the Isle of Wight. A self-satisfied attempt at Beta Band-style preposterousness, which fails by being more irritating than interesting. The Bees are destined to forever be the favourite band of 35-year-olds who never grew out of smoking pot and wearing T-shirts. Everyone should grow up.
