In the late 90s, Petula Clark appeared in a stage version of Sunset Boulevard as Norma Desmond, the glamorous movie star slipping into a deluded decline. As Clark arrives on stage before a half-full venue in Newcastle, life again seems to imitate art. She sashays on, blows a kiss to both balconies, and doesn't seem to notice that they are completely empty.
A half-full hall could wither a lesser performer, but, at 74, the veteran singer - possibly Britain's biggest-selling female solo artist with 70m albums sold, albeit many years ago - is nothing if not a trouper. Her lungs erupt as if they could power a jumbo jet; she sings The Twelfth of Never as if she were at Wembley Stadium. She explains that she was a shy child who realised she could hide in singing, and then begins an impossibly moving song she wrote recently: opening line, "I'm not afraid to stand before you."
Still glamorous, despite an array of curious, sack-like outfits, Clark never moved with the times like 60s contemporaries Sandie Shaw, Lulu and Dusty Springfield - who have all collaborated with modern pop stars - and tonight she continues to cling to her past and "dear old England" like a blanket. The big, brassy Don't Sleep in the Subway is as quintessentially 1960s as Christine Keeler. A Sign of the Times mentions Twiggy, the Rolling Stones and even "grass", but her shout of "Let's hear it for the 60s" could easily have been a reference to her audience's average age.
Although some of the songs have not dated well, the problems come between them, as Clark moves from genuinely funny quips (removing a gown with a "Settle down, that's as far as I go") to surreal and increasingly melancholy rambling anecdotes. She makes unnecessary remarks about Sophia Loren's bosom, is still upset about Fred Astaire, who died in 1987, and, wearing what looks like a spangly tarpaulin, recites a befuddled poem expressing such terror for the modern world you fear she'll be carted off by nurses.
Things continue to veer between wonderful and troubling. During a lacklustre Downtown, a fan grips her hand so tightly it looks like he will pull her off the stage. Recovering, Clark reveals that Glenn Close advised her not to play Norma Desmond for more than eight months "otherwise you'll go as mad as a hatter". It's unfortunate that Clark explains that she ended up playing her for two years.
· At Brentwood Leisure Centre, Brentwood (01277 262616) tonight. Then touring.
