Stage: Main stage, Reading
Time: Friday, 1.35pm
Dress code: Brazen impracticality from the band - guitarist Emma was asking for trouble in a white dress and white tights, while singer Kate Jackson was ready to screen test for a film-noir sexy secretary role in a neckerchief and the kind of pencil skirt you can't sit down in. The others looked like the Brady Bunch. Crowd mixed weather genres in wellies and straw hats. Also spotted: most tasteless T-shirt of the festival so far. Boy wearing Adolf Hitler European Tour"T-shirt, complete with tour dates on the back. "September 1939: Poland; April 1940: Norway", etc.
In summary: Sheffield's best dressed seemed overwhelmed by the big crowd, and their banter suffered for it. "We're very excited to be here! Is everyone excited?" was about as good as it got. What she lacked in chat, Jackson made up for in bum wiggles and dramatic poses. Musically, they were way tighter than they used to be, and didn't play everything at twice its usual tempo like they once did. But the crowd didn't really get going until the last song, Once And Never Again. Many of the audience singing along to "19, you're only 19, for god's sake, you don't need a boyfriend" were young enough to be celebrating their GCSE results.
Overall, The Long Blondes tunes are tailormade for an indie disco, and really sound much better when sandwiched between Belle and Sebastian and the Smiths in a grimy student union than in a sprawling field in the middle of the afternoon.
Better than: Waiting for the Sheffield Supertram in the rain.
Worse than: Sheffield's finest invention - hot pork rolls with crackling, stuffing and apple sauce. Nothing beats those.
Talking point: Kate Jackson's tights - ever heard your granny talk about how during the war they had to draw on stocking seams using old teabags? Well, they were like that, but with red bows on.
Highlight: Giddy Stratospheres. Still the best jiggly riff of the last two years, and you could hear the ace lyrics for once: "She won't let you make your way across her empire line" being a personal favourite.
Mark out of ten: 6
What they'll be up to this time next year: Hopefully playing a smaller stage, in the dark. They're a night-time band, best seen up close - and not just for the fashion tips.
